​How to Talk (and Listen) to Your Senior Loved One | Senior Living Salina, KS

​How to Talk (and Listen) to Your Senior Loved One
 
Perhaps you've taken time from your job or traveled from another state to visit your aging friend or relative. You want to make the most of your time together. But sometimes it seems that they aren't really listening to you or are distracted. You may leave thinking you just didn't get any satisfactory visiting done. 
 
Yet, your senior loved one still wants to hear what you have to say and wants to communicate with you, too. Physical changes make hearing and speaking harder.  If you understand ways to help, your conversations should improve and give joy to everyone.

• Aging affects speech and hearing. As bones age, they change shape, including in the rib cage which restricts breathing. Decreased heart function, lack of physical strength, and fading hearing make the actual work of speaking and listening a real challenge. The strain of failing to hear or to be heard may simply make someone give up trying. Be aware of the physical limitations of your loved one.
• Time of day matters. Aging adults have better cognitive function between 8:30 and 10:30 in the morning than later in the day or in the evening. Time your visit for the hours when they are energetic and alert, not just before naptime or after a meal.
• You can set the stage. Sit near enough to be heard, but not in front of a bright window. Adjust the light in the room so that you can be seen face-to-face, which will help them read your lips and expressions as an aid to conversation. Reach out and touch when appropriate and add emphasis with social cues like smiling, patting, or nodding.
• Don't make it harder. Speak clearly. Keep your hands away from your mouth. Don't chew gum or hold a water bottle in front of your face while you're talking. Don't turn away or get distracted by your phone. Keep your attention on the one you are conversing with. Don't tire your friend with a long visit.
• Listening is just as important as talking. It might take longer for your senior friend to express what they want to say, so give them plenty of time and encouragement. Ask leading questions, like "Do you want to tell me about your day?" or "Is there something I should know?" instead of routinely inquiring about their meals. Because a person is aging doesn't make them boring or want to be bored. They may have opinions on current events, stories about friends and relatives, or just a need to tell you how much they love you.

 
If your first conversations seem frustrating, keep trying. No matter what their situation, everyone wants to communicate with others. You might find unexpected gems of wisdom if you speak effectively and listen carefully.
 
Kim Rayas
Residence 600
kim@residence600.com
www.residence600.com
600 E. Elm
Salina KS 67401
(785) 822-1300